Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
