I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
