Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
