Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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