I wannas sexs uuuuu
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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