Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
