Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
