Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
