O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
