i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
