i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
