He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
