I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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