erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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