I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
