The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
