Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
