So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
