You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
