I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
