It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
