Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
