In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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