hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
