what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
