The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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