Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i out mim tonsoeep
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