love makes seman taste better
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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