Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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