I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
