i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
