He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
