jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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