before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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