at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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