some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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