Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
