yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
