I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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