Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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