im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
