So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
