she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
