On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
