I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
