problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
