i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
