Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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