He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
try to milk me bitch
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
