ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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