: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
