Say something about gay babies.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
