Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
